Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 5 My Hero

J.D. to a ladie -You're gonna be fine, ma'am.

The ladie - I work here.

J.D. - Still doesn't change the fact you're gonna be fine.

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 7 My First Step

Dr. Cox -I mean, hell, when you were a kid, you must have cut your hand on your dollhouse.

J.D. -Oh, please. I lived for danger.

Flashback. J.D. is a kid and is playing frisbee with other kids

Kid J.D. - Who's ready for some Frisbee?

The frisbee hits him in the head

Kid J.D. - Get my mom! Get my mom!

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 7 My First Step

Todd - That was a compliment. Why won't any women talk to me?

Nurse - You're slimy and turn everything into a double entendre.

Todd - Not true.

Nurse leaves.

Turk - Go ahead.

Todd - I'd like to double her entendre.

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 10 My Monster

Turk - Hey, look at me. I want you to turn Gift-Shop Girl into Gift-Shop Woman.

J.D. - I swear on all the gifts in her shop, I will make you proud.

Turk - That's my dog. That's my dog!

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 10 My Monster

Dr. Cox - Don't think I'm impressed because you managed to score a sympathy date with whatever homely looking chick is managing the gift shop nowadays.

Gift Shop Girl - JD, you ready to go?

J.D. - Oh, yeah, the word you're looking for is "wow", and the words I'm looking for are "in your face."

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 18 My Kingdom

Turk and J.D. are at the bar and a girl asked Turk to buy him a drink.

J.D. - You see that, that right there? That has never happened to me.

J.D. - A hot girl has never asked to buy me a drink.

J.D. - Appletini, please. Easy on the tini.

Barman - No problem, lady.

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 18 My Tasty Comma Wife

Jordan [to Dr. Cox] - No noise.

Jordan - And the whole world gets it. You love your body.

Jordan - Put your damn shirt on, no one's making a calendar.

Jordan - And be a sweetie and get me a juice, will you? Thanks so much.

Dr. Cox - As much as it may seem like it to me personally, I feel desperately compelled to remind

you that we are, in fact, not in prison. And I am just so not your bitch.

Jordan - Watch your language in front of the baby.

Dr. Cox - You're gonna have to trust me on this one.

Dr. Cox - Seeing as you're his mother, he's gonna hear that word early, and he's gonna hear it often.

Dr. Cox - Like... non-stop.

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 22 My dream job

Dr. Kelso -Nurse Espinoza,

Dr. Kelso -Do you by any chance know what time your 9.30 shift starts?

Carla - 9:30?

Dr. Kelso - That's what I would've said.

Dr. Kelso - But I had Ted stand out in the parking lot and monitor your arrival times this week. Ted?

Ted - 9.34, 9.39, 9.41, 9.33 and 9.50.

Carla - How is that law degree working out for you, Ted?

Ted- I was going to be a senator.

Dr. Kelso - I haven't perused the latest nursing contract, I'm guessing it doesn't say "show up when you damn well please."

Dr. Cox - Here's an idea. What say you stop showing up altogether and we'll replace you with a giant time clock?

Dr. Cox - If we ever miss you, we'll just have a Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every few minutes and say: "I've never satisfied a woman. I've never satisfied a woman..."

Scrubs Funniest Quotes Season 2 Episode 22 My dream job

Dr.Cox [to J.D. and Turk]: Hey, Betty. Hey, Wilma. Oh, what the hell, you're only forty minutes late. Do I... do I smell beer?

JD: Uh, we... we, uh, we had a few.

Dr.Cox : Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.